QuestionsCategory: ParentingI don't want anyone else becoming close to my new baby but I don't have a choice what should I do I need to go back to work
Nicky asked 5 years ago

I’m struggling with the idea that there will be another significant person in my daughters life who is not a family member. What should I do about it as I have to have help as I don’t return from work until 7pm so nurseries aren’t really an option  

1 Answers
Riverside Cares Staff answered 5 years ago

  Dear Nicky, You are not alone in feeling this, what you have to remember is you are there for your baby\\\’s whole life. Just because another person is looking after your baby for a period of time they are not a replacement for you and nor should they be behaving as a mother replacement.  Babies can have several significant figures in their life but they only have one mum. If you get a child carer who also loves your child, see this as a positive because your child is growing up in a loving environment. Professional nannies are fully aware they are not there to replace the parent but to support them. They will work in partnership with you; however the parent always has the final say in how a child is brought up. The carer can, with your permission, of course send you regular updates and pictures so you can see how your baby is getting on and that is one of many things that can be added in to help you feel connected.  Without being aware of your situation it is difficult to comment but can you go back to work part time? Even if just to start with. This may make the transition of leaving your daughter with another person less stressful. Remember it’s not just about how much time you spend with your baby, but the quality of the time you spend together. I hope this helps. Jill  Jill Wheatcroft is a Lecturer in Child Health and is co-founder and Director of Training at Riverside Cares. She can be contacted via