QuestionsCategory: ParentingTwins: I am the dad of twins of nearly 2, my daughter is walk and is very calm my son is still struggling to walk and is a lot more excitable. I want to be sure I treat them equally as they grow up please could I have the does and don’ts
Harry Moss asked 3 years ago

http://I am the dad of twins. They are nearly 2. My daughter is walking and is very calm. My son is still struggling to walk and is a lot more excitable. I want to be sure I treat them equally as they grow up nplease could I have your do’s and dont’s.

1 Answers
Riverside Cares Staff answered 3 years ago

Hi Harry,
It may be an overused phrase but every child is an individual and will have a different personality. This may mean they need different approaches to treat them equally. More than the issue about who is walk with more confidence first your deeper question is so important so thanks for posing it. Of course you do always need to be aware and act if you feel that one child may need more support in a particular area than their sibling.
I think my first ‘do’ for the future, is be sure to give them equal time doing what they are interested in and derive enjoyment from. For example, it may mean spending time sitting and reading with your daughter while with your son is rolling around on the floor or playing hide and seek and finding out what activities stimulate your son. 
As they get older try not to stereotype, it may be your daughter loves dinosaurs so a trip to the science museum is a great idea equally it may be that your son loves music and dancing so an activity involving this may be of interest. Can’t emphasis enough remember their individuality and don’t stereotype.
With twins it’s important to allow them to actually be individuals as well as recognising the unique bond they have with their sibling as they are a twin. My sister and her husband have two children and added in from early on a special once-a-year plan for a weekend when their children were taken away separately, each parent taking a child away for the day (or part of when they were smaller) which grew into a weekend when they were old enough, focusing on something that the individual child really enjoyed. They would then swop over giving each parent 1-to-1 time with each child. Thats one suggestion but if you follow through with the deeper thinking there are many ways of creating individual experiences dependent on your family set up. 
Hopefully as they get older they will enjoy playing more with each other, but it’s also important they have other friends to play with as well. Playdates have many layers of positive.
I think the bottom line is about giving each of them the same opportunities and the freedom to feel that they dont have to like the same things.  
Hope that helps!
Jill Wheatcroft is a Lecturer in Child Health and is co-founder and Director of Training at Riverside Cares. She can be contacted at  and is available for one to one consultations in person or by phone or skype. Join our mailing list to hear about other free pop up events, sessions, training sessions and first aid courses and