QuestionsCategory: FatherhoodMy husband says he feels like a spare part and he’s getting irritated
Karina Clarman asked 3 years ago

What can I do to help? Our daughter seems to eat and sleep and I’m sorting that out. I really feel at the moment that my husband thinks he’s getting in the way (which he is no) is there anything I can do because he is getting irritated. It’s not the way I imagined it would be.

1 Answers
Riverside Cares Staff answered 3 years ago

Hi Karina,
Babies are very hard work and large majority of mums if asked would say it was not what they expected….
It can be really hard at the beginning as a lot of the time only the mother is shown how to bath, change nappies and of course the breast feeding will come down to mum as well. Babies are a full time occupation and most mums find it very hard to find time for anything else. Often fathers can feel they are left out or are not sure what to do. Do make sure the dad handles the baby from the beginning; dads can often feel nervous in handling new babies so make sure you pass the baby over and involve them in dressing etc.. Try and share the nappy changing duties, and when possible get dad to be in charge of the bath when he can.
As soon as the baby is old enough to go outside try, ask dad to take the baby out for a walk (baby wraps/slings are really good for bonding) even if only for 20 to 30 minutes, it is great for the baby to get fresh air and gives you time to sit for a few minutes and catch your breath as well as giving dad some one to one time. Around by me I often see dads on a Saturday or Sunday mornings out and about with the baby hopefully so mums can have a little rest.
Once you have fed the baby pass them over to dad for burping and settling. It is good for babies to have a little boiled water each day usually from a bottle ( some people prefer a cup) so again make this dads job. It can be in the evening if dad is at work. Even through the baby may be really small a story when they are put to bed for the night can be a good habit to get into so even though they not understand it the sound of a voice is helpful in settling.
I hope this helps, dads often find it easier to be more involved as the child gets older but as you have identified it is important to involve dads from the beginning.
Kind Regards,
Susan Tierney
Susan and the Riverside Cares professional team can be contacted at Join our mailing list to hear about other free pop up events, sessions, training sessions and first aid courses and